i wish....

I wish I can light a smoke and throw it away easily.

I wish I can have amnesia and forget about it completely.

The burns still linger by the heat of the smoke.

The scars still red and raw, but it just wont heal.

Will time be a medication for this wound?

or it will just stick with me until I am doom.

Will she ever come back to me?

....................

I wish I never learn to love

Breathless

If our love was a fairy tale
I would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sail
To an island where we’d say I do

And if we had babies they would look like you
It’d be so beautiful if that came true
You don’t even know how very special you are

Chorus

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless

And if our love was a story book
We would meet on the very first page
The last chapter would be about
How I’m thankful for the life we’ve made

And if we had babies they would have your eyes
I would fall deeper watching you give life
You don’t even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me
You’re like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You’re something special
I only hope that I’ll one day deserve what you’ve given me
But all I can do is try
Every day of my life

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless



So beautiful.....

Econs today was easy

Econs today was quite easy. Breeze thru. SHould be able to get at least a B+ for econs hopefully even A , now left my chem, bio chem and marketing. I hope everything at least B+ for Marketing and biochem i expect A lo. Hopefully my GPA get 4.0. haha.

Someone left this on my door this morning. Dun know who.
Looks like Sarah. But Sarah nv come hall. Hazel said she nv do it. So who?

Letme post the pic.


Dun know who left at my door.

I tink only Hazel huilian and Sarah know my problem.

Hmm..........









Me Mugging. :)

My Mo gen

I screw up my paper.
it s really true. When one is down, everything also sucks.
I hate myself,
I hate the whole bloody world.
And I am gg to sit in my room and cry, cause no one cares about me.
I am useless. Stupid. Good for nothing person.
the world would be better off without me.

I HATE THIS WORLD.
I WANT TO DIE.
LIFE HAS NO MEANING.
WHAT MEANING.

My room is super messy

i want to lead a new life.
Get out of my head.

I'm Sorry

说话的语气　败坏了风气
我不想为你为你白花了力气
那么会扯去扯铃　
扯多你就会上瘾
扯你最善变的表情　
我的解释请你务必要听
那么会扯去扯铃　却扯不出个命运

当初彼此(你我都)不够成熟坦白热情不再
转身离开分手说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱
只是一场意外
我们的爱(给的爱)
差异一直存在(回不来)
风中尘埃(等待)
竟累积成伤害

说什么你不知道一句话是你不好
最好笑最后变成是我不好
you doesn't make sense
是不是有点无聊
好象我塞给你要你无可奈何
被逼要逃我终于看穿了爱情
它不就象点根烟随手放在嘴边
(it doesn't really matter)
早一点看穿了爱情
它不就像抽根烟用来解闷消遣
大不了烫到了指尖随手甩路边管它誓不誓言

你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错只是忘了怎么退后
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

或许命运的签只让我们遇见

也许时间是一种解药
你要离开我知道很简单　
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱　
当作我最后才明白

与你聊不完的曾经而我已经分不清　你是友情还是错过的爱情

是谁　在哭
那历史已模糊　
刀上的锈却出土的很清楚　
是我　在哭
我攻城掠地　想冷血　
你需要勇气　挥剑离去　
你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴
这感觉　已经不对我不配

I just want to forget about this whole thing, i wish I never ask u out, I should have just let u go without taking your phone number. Then all this whole god damn thing will not have happen. i should not have hold your hand when your hand crept onto mine, I should have just brush it aside.

I am so tired. Tired. I have let down myself, my parents and my friends.
I am tired of pretending to be happy.
I am in numbness.

Should have just let car knocked me down.

....................................



I wish all these never happen.
Painful memories, when she say I dun love u.
Worse than when u see me play mahjong game?
I dun tink so.

WTH

arghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is so fustrating
I really dont know what she wants.

Not a useless boy! :)

Finally my dear came back to me after so many heart wrenching nights. My mind is totally exhausted but relieve at the same time, tat she forgave me. And see my true feeling.
I promised her tat I will love her and care for her and not neglect her. Can u believe this is all because Of a mahjong game? Well, Girls will be girls. Anyway I love her too much to giver her up for any other thing else. Yao Shi qu le cai hui zhen xi.
Luckily dear gave me a chance to zhen xi once again.
I tink we will have a stable future. Cause We can now iron things out. So from now on, If she is not happy she can scream and yell at me. So tat at least i know where to correct my errors.
So now my aim is to:
Balance Studies, Dear, and family and friends.

Future:
Earn lots of money, buy house, buy car, live happily ever after with my dear.
Be healthy.
Kip fit.
3 kids - 1 boy 2 girl. Boy must be eldest so can take care of both his sisters
Ah boy must be wen wu shuang quan. Mus play piano, violin, saxophone.
Play soccer, basketball, tennis, running.
Girl go learn ballet, piano, violin, art.
Muz run, play sports.

Hohohoho.

That is the plan of ah boy, dun know how ah girl think?

heehee :)

Once again a useless guy

I didnt know what I was doing. I juz prepare the bread at 6am, take the antacid. Go down stairs, buy vitagen. I didnt know what to do. My mind was so tired. I cannot even open my eyes already. But I know I had to do this. This was what kept me going. Take 187, dare not slp, scared miss stop. Than finally got down.
Then a red car knocked me down. Luckily it was not very fast. But I cannot think. I only want to deliver the breakfast to her house. Also luckily the breakfast was still intact, and not flatten. got cut and bruises. Yeah, blood. But who cares. I wish the car would juz knocked me down and I go and die, than I would not need to suffer so much pain. I walk up blurred and still shocked from the impact. I walk up the all too familiar life and walk way. So many memories. I cried and cried and scared that people would see a crazy guy crying. I saw her blinds still covered. The fan stirring. She muz be sleeping. I feel so tempted to just shout her name. And tell her that I will not give her up no matter what. But all talk is no use. i need to show her that she really means alot to me. I will get knocked down a million times, just to see her smile. I left the b.f on her door.

I ask myself is it worth it. Then i remember her smile, than i said yes. i continued crying on the porch until i tink is time to leave.

I finally know what happen. Someone snatched my dear from me. She say that the guy can give her things that she want that I cannot give. Ridiculous, I cared for her, I showed concern, I go out with her as often as I could. No matter how tired I was. And all I get was this tearing heart.
It's not fair to me, you never tell me anything was wrong. Many couples break up because they cannot communicate with each other. I always ask is there anything wrong, u always say nothing. u can ask me where you need to improve, I tell you. U NEVER tell me. And out of the sudden, THIS. I cant stand it, It is so unfair to me.
Let me tell you, u say u want to go Jays concert, I scrimp and save every penny I have, to buy tickets. I go hungry, I dont go out. For what? For you.
You say you want to go trip to hong kong, i manage to persuade my mum to let me go next holiday provided that I get above GPA4.0 for my score. I worked so hard, study so hard for what?
Of course I cant provide you with everything you want but this is NOW. But in the future when you are my wife, I work hard and you will get everyhting you want.
YOu tink i so mug for my exams for wat, so that you next time can live comfortably no need to work, can stay at home and be tai tai.
All this are in vain now. There is no point in studying, there is no point in living. WTH.

THIS IS SO BLOODY UNFAIR.

But nvm. I will try to win your heart over again. You will see a new different me. I will make u feel like a princess, no matter how good the other guy is. I am not giving up without a fight.
Cause I love you.

I am the most useless guy on earth

Dear came to my place told me that she wants to break up with me. No reason, no nothing, she just kept crying. I was so shocked. But I manage to convince her to stay. Give me one more chance. She says I cant afford her. I dont know wat that means, I only know I love you and all that matters. Girls are weird.